Jayecookie

I've come to find out another truth about me. People would get upset with me and I'd cry. People used to get angry and I'd hate myself for it. However, in my sickly gunshot heart, I never saw it that way. My brain and skull were thick from all of those previous punches that calloused over.  I had a panic attack for the first time in my life, the tears rolled down my face as my body took control and anger swelled. "Why am I crying?" I said "This is stupid!" I berated internally. My life went like that. Anger at the weakness? Anger at the lack of control? Callous and coldness. It was anger at the lack of direction and lack of purpose. "What is this for? Why can't I move forward, this is stupid! Why am I crying?! I just have to do!"... there are just somethings you can't get around and surpass anymore when the damage has long been done and 'won't just go away'. Who knew in moments like those they would be blissful and opportune