FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, DON'T MAKE THIS MISTAKE

Have you ever wanted something? Like really bad? so much so that your intestine felt fused with your stomach and you couldn't breathe till you got it?

Now imagine you have that felling right now. Picture it, hold it, feel the blood rush to ever inch of your body till your cheeks are boiling. I've had that feeling ever since I was little for the same thing.

Its confusing how I can want something so much but be so afraid to scream it from the roof tops. I guess you can say its complicated. Even now I'm afraid it will slip out from under my tongue and create a nasty, bitter after taste that crinkles your face.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

For the longest time I would say I don't know. Then it flowed over in the 5th grade when 'I don't know' wasn't good enough, they needed an answer and my job career got molded into a veterinarian. They asked me what I liked and always ANIMALS got projected out of my mouth.
 "oh, then you can be a zoologist!" my teacher would say.
"I don't really like those kinds of animals" I hesitated.
"well you can be a veterinarian! you like dogs and cats right" Mrs. Valicovic would fire back. It hit me like a train going 70mph then stopping while a guy in a hoodie jumped out in the pitch black just to shoot me three times while I'm already down.
"I guess" I would mutter back.

for some reason lying was always tough for me. It was hard to distinguish; I did like dogs and cats, but I didn't want to be a veterinarian. I couldn't say no to that proposal because then it would be like saying I didn't like dogs and cats, which just to clarify is extremely false. So that was that for the next 5 years that would be my answer, always. Through all the projects and research about what you wanted to be when you grew up, all wasted, because I didn't even want to be a veterinarian.

Now I'm a Junior, 11th grade, and almost a senior too. I have two months of my school year left and I'm happy to say I've evolved.

No one really asks you that question anymore. It's more like 'Where are you going to college?', 'Do you have a car?', 'When did you get your license?', 'Did you get it already?', you know the important stuff. BUT every so often they'll ask you... and I'll answer...
 "regenerative agriculture" I'll bubble as it dances the salsa off my tongue.
"wha?" they'll stutter as they try to comprehend my incoherent speech pattern.
"Regenerative Agriculture" I say half with confidence and half with sheepishness.
"oh" they'll pretend to congratulate mean and know what it means. (but they don't).

I say that because it sounds better then what I really want to be, but you see its not a lie, because i really want to be a regenerative agriculturist. By definition, Regenerative Agriculture is a system of farming principles and practices that increases biodiversity, enriches soil, improves watersheds, and enhances ecosystem services, because i want to be a farmer. Just instead when they ask me instead of me saying doctor, I say heart surgeon. So it still counts in my book.

Basically I'm saving the world, by helping stop global warming. You're welcome.